Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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