i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
