I look better un-naked...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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