I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
