Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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