Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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