I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
