did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
