Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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