I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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