just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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