She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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