Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
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