i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
