and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
