If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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