what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
