I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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