I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
