Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
