im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
