We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
