I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
