maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
