I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
