spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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