I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
