i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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