That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
