She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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