My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
