is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
