and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
