their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
