This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
