there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
