I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
