The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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