I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
