Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
