the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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