I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
