I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
