idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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