when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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