And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
someone owes me an orgasm
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
