id be glad to
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
