so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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