so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
