Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
