i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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