Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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